1. If Santa dropped off one of those to me in the UK I would be spending the next 10 Christmas holidays in Parkhurst at her Majesty’s pleasure.

    • What, you never noticed that big honking toggle bolt, and the recoil accelerator on the sleigh’s prow? Open your eyes, man!


  2. When I first saw this article, I immediately did the “Deadman Test”. Took my pulse — result = no pulse ; measured respiration — result = 0 ; examined pupils — result = fully dilated.

    Conclusion : I had died and gone to heaven.

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